Friday, January 25, 2013

If I Could Go Back 10 years...

Have you ever considered what you would tell yourself if you could go back 10 years, 20 years, etc., to a certain time in your life to change a major event or decision course? Makes you wonder if Adam wished he could rewind time and not even the fruit from the tree. Did Cain wish he hadn't killed Abel? The list goes on and I'm sure each of us has our own.

My husband and I have come to a crossroads and while we have a list of things that we wish we could have done differently if we could relive our almost 10 years of marriage, there is a crucial ideology that we wish we had heard 10 or 11 years ago as that would have changed some major dynamics of our marriage.

Now for the stunning shocking reality.

We can't rewind time.

Betcha didn't see that coming. (just kidding of course)

So since we can't rewind time and go back and tell ourselves this piece of golden wisdom that would've saved us so many life lessons and averted many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, what do we do?

First of all, we pray and repent for the sins we're realizing.

Second, we learn from our mistakes.

Third, we move on. We embrace that it was God's purpose for those chapters and decisions to be part of our story for His glory. We tell others about our mistakes both for God's glory and for possibly helping others to avoid making those same mistakes.

I'm working to not mourn those decisions, but to be thankful I can see God moving throughout those decisions and then now figure out how to we can change the course of our story.

"For we preach not ourselves but Christ Jesus the Lord and ourselves, your servants, for Jesus sake." 2 Cor 4:5b

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Lost and Confused?

Trying to formulate my thoughts the other day, I had the words "Lost and So Confused" flash through my mind. Appropriate descriptions for this moment and I decided I needed to write a song using those words. Then I realized there was a song that had that line, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I tried to sing that line and eventually the entire song, "Imagine Me Without You" by Jaci Velasquez came to my senses. That was the song I was thinking of. I pulled it up on You Tube and let the music and words resonate in my soul. Then I realized...

I'm not without God. In her song, "Imagine me without you, I'd be lost and so confused..." describes how she would be without Christ. So... why am I using those exact descriptors when I am NOT without Christ?!

I had a smack in the face as I realized in that moment that I was living as if I did not have Christ in my life. Her song ends, "Because of You, it's all brand new, my life is now worthwhile... I can't imagine me without you."

I prayed and confessed this to my Lord. I allowed myself to be distracted by the enemy, and forgot that I am with Christ, and He is with me.

Are you living without Christ? Are you with Christ and yet living as if you're not? In either case, repent, for the Kingdom of God is awaiting you! WAKE UP! He is there to see us through, and our lives are now worthwhile. PRAISE GOD He has given us the opportunity to serve Him!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Are You Listening

On occasion I express myself through writing a song - it's a soothing means of expressing what is on my heart and going on in my life. I don't have any dreams of Grammy's or Oscars or Dove Awards, I don't think they're that good and I don't really do it for other people, but really just for me. Just a means to communicate really. My superman husband has been asked to guest preach along with me singing for a service at our sending church in the near future and he'll be preaching on Deut 6. I couldn't find a song that I really felt was the right song to sing, so I decided I would just write one. Thought I would share it here...

Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God
With all your heart

Listen o Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. Teach this to your children. Repeat it every day. While you’re sitting while you’re walking and when you’re on the road. When you lie down, and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and wear it as a symbol on your forehead. Write them in your home too.

Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God
With all your heart
Are you listening Israel 
Are you listening to this church
Are you listening to this dads
Are you listening to this moms
Are you listening to this kids
Are you listening to this brothers
Are you listening to this sisters
Are you listening are you listening are you listening
Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God
With all your heart
Do you teach your children every day to love the Lord our God? Do you teach them when you rise do you teach them when you sleep, do you teach them when you drive, do you teach them when you shop, is it written in your house is it written in your heart? Do you love the Lord your God….with all your heart?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Abigail's arrival

Abigail Kay arrived the Saturday before Thanksgiving and just 2 days before her due date! She has been an incredible joy and I am blessed to have a newborn in my home again. Her siblings all adore her (especially Joanna who FINALLY has a younger sister) and she's now 6 weeks old marking the end of my recovery crutch :)

God protected both she and I in an amazing way that day... in a way we didn't even know we needed protection from.

Abigail's placenta was abnormal - she had something called a velamentous cord insertion. In this condition, the veins in the placenta were exposed instead of protected which means they are more apt to rupture under the stress of the contractions or could be potentially nicked when the midwife broke my water right at the end - they can even rupture if she had stripped my membranes. Should that have happened, Abigail, or both of us, could have very quickly bled to death. An emergency c-section would not have occured quickly enough. As I researched after the fact, it turns out that the when it's detected in utero, those are planned c-sections so prevent the possibility of rupture from the stress of contractions and the moms are put on bedrest up to that point. Not on bedrest, I continued my normal life pace including moving, unpacking, probably lifting I shouldn't have, etc. God spared us both and we are so thankful.