Nope - I'm not gonna do it

There are so many stories in the Bible where a journey begins with resistance against God's will or direct command. My story of this ministry journey we are on begins much the same.

Late September 2010, my husband received an email from a friend of his, his childhood pastor, who was making contacts for a church in need of a pulpit supply - they needed someone to preach for them while they continued their search for a new pastor. My husband, recently ordained and licensed by our local church, always will jump at the opportunity to share God's Word through preaching. Phone calls were made and it was determined my husband (whom I like to refer to as "Superman") would preach for the month of October at this small church in need, 2 1/2 hours north of us. We decided it would be best for our 4 children who at the time were ages 5 months, 2, 4, and 6, to keep with our normal routine at our home church.

Up hours before sunlight to head north, Superman was on his way to preach and a couple hours later the children and I readied for our normal Sunday morning. Afternoon. Evening. Where was he? I expected him home mid-afternoon, but a family from the church had invited several over, including my superman, to their home for lunch and they had spent many hours talking after the meal. The children and I went on to evening service and near the end of the sermon, the door in the back of the church opens. I turn around and see a look on his face.

Nope - I'm not gonna do it.

You see, I recognized the look on his face when he came in the door of the sanctuary in that moment. It was identical to the look on his face when he got the opportunity to serve at an inner city church a few years earlier as the youth pastor, and again the look came around after several months told me that he wanted us to live in the community so we could better minister. Move to the ghetto - yep. See, I knew what was coming.

As soon as he was next to me I set my jaw and said, "We are not moving to Ft. Wayne." The smile he gave me in response confirmed my fears and in his cheeky-ness he said, "We don't have to move to Ft Wayne. The church is in Columbia City." Man of the hour right there.

Now at this moment if I were reading this, I would say, "My goodness! That woman needs a lesson about submitting to her husband and following his leadership!" And reading these snippets in time, I would tend to agree with you. But understand that since I was halfway through high school I had felt God impressing upon my heart that I would one day be a pastor's wife and was thrilled! This is why (after some more "NOT GONNA DO IT" moments with God), I ended up at Bible College so I could get my M R S degree, whoops, I mean get a Bible education so I could support my future hubby in ministry! (And if I just so happened to meet my future darling husband there then well that would be splendid!).
So really, I had been preparing to be a pastor's wife for years! I had dreamed of the day when superman would be called by a church to serve! But... but... a church in the ghetto? That wasn't in my plan. Then this church up north that had a tiny congregation when he was not yet finished with his degree and would have to work full time additionally and we'd have to move hours away from our friends and family? Nope - not gonna do it.



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Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of our move up north - 2 streets over from that church where God has led my husband to pastor. The journey has been hard, each step a struggle, and we've learned to celebrate even the smallest of victories. God has taught me so much on this journey - and the journey I believe has only just begun.